Gift Certificate

Ever wanted to die your hair purple, pierce your forehead, and get the lyrics to LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It” tattooed down your back? Yeah, me neither, but I could–for free. This gift certificate to a local tattoo parlor and salon was won in a Rock Band competition. No, not in a “Battle-of-the-Bands,” where real bands write original songs and musically duke it out on stage. No, this was a video game competition–one that we practiced for, one that we even had choreography for. At one point, just before the guitar solo, the guitar player quit playing and threw rock hands up in the air while the lead singer walked behind the guitar player, reached underneath the guitar player’s arms to grab the guitar, and perfectly executed the entire solo without looking at the screen. Also, we gave lighters to all our friends in the audience. You might say we went a little over the top, but we were determined to win because it was rumored  that the prize was a trip to Vegas, but the bar didn’t raise enough money for that, so we just got “rock-star makeovers,” which were $50 each to a clothing store and $250 each to a salon and tattoo parlor. This would have been epic-sweet if I had any interest in tattoos, piercings, or dying my hair, but I didn’t. The only tattoo I’ve ever liked is this one, my hair is an excellent color, and I had enough shots as a kid–beating two life-threatening diseases–to satisfy any sort of masochistic desire I could’ve had. But thinking about it now, I know a few really awesome bums that live downtown. I was thinking, “How cool would it be to just walk up to Downtown Bob and hand him this gift certificate? Maybe a sweet makeover would give him the boost in confidence he needs to get off that street corner and do something he loves.” Oh, woops. Just googled the salon. They’re permanently closed. Sorry, Bob.

P.S. I found two more headphone covers to another pair of headphones I have lost.

Oh, and another lock.


~ by russell jander on January 14, 2012.

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